Understand

I'm an atheist, I have to get that out of the way before I say what I have to say. There's this stigma that atheists find themselves to be superior. That they believe that people who find solace in religion to be weak. Though I can't speak for every atheist. I can say that this is not true of me. I have studied religion, I have tried different religions. And in the end I found that faith in a higher power wasn't right for me. But who am I to say it isn't right for you. Religion is fascinating and speaks to so many people on a personal level. They follow a higher power, not because they are weak and need it, but because they feel a real connection to their god. Now, I have considered myself an atheist for 4 years, though I was questioning my faith long before that. In the time since I've made the conscious decision to become an atheist, I don't think you would know unless I told you. Being an atheist doesn't make me into this evil, moral-less monster. Just as being religious doesn't make you a psychotic, elitist zealot. What I think everybody needs to understand is this: My beliefs are influenced by who I am, not the other way round. My beliefs being different from yours shouldn't be the the thing that causes problems. In fact, beliefs shouldn't be argued. No one belief set is right for everybody, and none is better than any other, there's no reason for our differing opinions to cause conflict (though vocalizing things might help you understand each other's position, civil, intelligent discussion is never out the window). If we could all understand this, the world might be a better place.

Yet Another Westboro Rant

So, I know MILLIONS of people have ranted about the Westboro Baptist "Church", but I have to put my two cents out there.
So this church is infamous for one slogan, "GOD HATES FAGS!"
Now, I find this to be one of the most ignorant hateful sayings. I have no problem with the homosexual community. Some of the most awesomely amazing people I've ever met belong to it. And some of them are a few of the most devote religious people I've met.
Now, back to the "church"
How can you possibly believe that your god can hate anything he's created. If anything, based on the bible, god would love everything he has created, except for those who cause emotional and/or physical pain among large groups of people. Oh... wait... that's you.
So you started of at horribly humble beginnings, protesting against gays. But then, you decided gays weren't the only problem, the entire world was, because, if they weren't hating gays, they were sinning by enabling them
So you went and started protesting at military funerals. Funerals for fallen heroes who died defending the right that allows you to spout your bullshit. You go and protest against anything, you protest at Lady Ga Ga concerts. You protest fucking anything
Seriously, fuck you in the face you fucking cunts, If there is a god, you will burn in an especially hot part of hell.
You don't listen to logic or reason, you hold on dearly to your fucked up beliefs and force them down any children with the misfortune of being born into your community.
And I strongly admire the few members of your community that have developed a sense of logic and left that hateful "church"
And now... now.. You decide to go to Norway and protest the Norway funerals. Wow. A funeral held for innocent children who were the victims of a psychopath on a a misguided horrible attempt to spread his beliefs (I guess you related to him). Where in the fuck do you get the logic to go and protest the deaths of innocent kids? In fact, a homosexual couple risked their lives and went over to their camp in a boat and saved 40 children.
The only saving grace to this is that there is no protection for your hate over in Norway. I hope to anything that those Norwegians gang up and massacre you. I'm not usually one to wish horrible death upon someone, but I'll make an exception for you people.
Go to hell. Hope you die.
With Love,
Wade Masters

PS there's a movie coming out called Red State, directed by Kevin Smith, which is a horror movie based on the Westboro. Apparently he invited old members who left the "church" and they said it was mostly accurate.

PPS you might have realized I put church in quotations. That's because I don't consider them a real church (for obvious reasons)

All guys are dicks!!

I really hate when people make rash generalizations. Like when a girl goes "All guys are dicks!!" or when a guy goes " All women are crazy bitches!!" or when a.., You get my point. Just because you encounter one person who is an asshole, or psychotic, or anything else doesn't mean that everyone like them is the same. This happens when somebody gets treated horribly. They then go on Facebook or whatever and share their thoughts on how much hatred and disregard they harbor towards a certain group a horrible person belongs to. For instance, if a guy where to get cheated on by a girl, he might post "All girls are lying bitch whores". Now, not all girls are lying bitch whores, I don't think even half are. But since a woman hurt him, women are all terrible. Same thing goes for anything. If a man were to get beat up by a black man, he might say" All black people are horrible criminals" Once again, definitely not always the case. The fact is, we like to generalize people into groups and then place the blame on the entire group rather than on the person really at fault. I would just like to ask people to stop doing this so absentmindedly. Remember, the individual does not represent the entirety, nor does the entity represent the individual.

Partying.., AND HATE!!!

So today I went to a party where Paige was at. We were all cool, playing Just Dance 2, Playing apples to apples, Singing Rebecca Black's "Friday". But all of that changed when she decided to smoke, I wasn't opposed to her smoking, I was just kidding with her, but her blatant disregard for my (fake) disapproval started a war. I hated on her for everything for the rest of the night. Anything she did, it. was. wrong. From getting slapped to playing beer pong. Now all this was just me fucking around, but, I think she thinks I hate her, especially since I kept threatening to write "6 PAGES OF HATE!!!" on the blog, which led to her threatening to kick me from the blog to which I rebutted with a threat of copyright lawsuit (I was clearly joking). All this was in good fun, but she didn't even give me a hug when she said goodbye, so I decided to write this little snippet and just add. Paige, you're an awesome friend, and I can't hate you. That said, I WILL END YOU!!! LOL JKJK I kid.. but seriously, We cool now. No 6 pages... until you fuck up again... or maybe I'll let it slide since its you ^_^

What do you want?!

I think everybody has an odd fetish that drives them along weird relationships and usually lands them in a marriage with someone completely opposite of said fetish. Look at the two celebrity examples of Kim Kardashian and Lisa Lampenelli. They both dated TONS of black men and are now married to, or marrying, a white man. Or take Paige Davis's fetish for instance, she LOVES Indian men and Abusive men. Or me, who has a fetish for... anyone. We all have them, some guys like Asians, some like some Latin fire, some like that ebony goddess, and the same goes for women, just replace ebony goddess with Mandingo warrior. I feel like I see this quite often. Its, I believe, just a phase in which you taste what you want before you get what you need AND want. So love them crazy likes of yours, just remember, you won't end up with one of them. Unless you're Paige, I'm pretty sure she'll probably never get over Indians.

Zombie Outbreak Response: Join the Resistance

Picture Credit: http://benblogged.com/?p=81
Zombies are reanimated corpses who feast solely on the flesh of living creatures, specifically that of humans. They are slow moving, but in large numbers, can easily overwhelm an entire population, even one can overwhelm a population if the people are ignorant enough to let the threat go unnoticed and misunderstood. The only method of disposing of a zombie is to destroy the brain. Now this is all common knowledge for most people (except for the few ignorant people who believe in the "fast" zombies), but to what extent do you understand this knowledge. Do you understand it to the extent of, say, a kid know the names of every pokemon, or, how a trained survivalist knows the layout of the surrounding countryside. The point being, do you know it as a fun joke fact, or as true facts. Do you legitimately believe in zombies. To the non believer it may seem preposterous to believe in something supposedly created in the minds of Hollywood after learning about voodoo zombies, but to the believers, it's much more. Its a way of life. They may not show it, but believers are the ever vigilant watchdogs, attempting to weed out when and where the uprising will begin and how long it will take to put it down. Not to say we are all crazy conspiracy nuts who stand at home with a 12 gauge and some armor on. We just hope to be prepared if and when the zombie outbreak actually happens. We are all over. In your colleges, in your towns, in your state legislatures, even in the highest forms of government. The point is, when the time comes, Zack (military term for zombies, along the lines of Charlie for communists) isn't gonna stand a chance when they come out. Join the resistance. Plan your escape. Gather your supplies. LIve your life normally, but be prepared when the call to arms is issued. Gods Speed to those of you who take these words to heart, and may god help you if you don't

What is Love?

Love. Its one of the most beautiful feelings you can ever experience. But it seems that, over the years, the word has lost all meaning. Love used to mean something. Love used to be reserved for the people who cared for you and raised you and for the person you were sure you were going to spend the rest of your life with. These days, people love everything and everybody i.e. "I love chocolate" or "I love that waiter". Now, I'm guilty of this myself. We can't control ourselves with that word anymore. It has pretty much become the equivalent of what like used to mean. Love, in a relationship, used to be something you couldn't even say until, not only was the time right, but you both would've had to have invested enough time and emotion into it for you to really be sure it was love. Now, if a relationship lasts longer than two weeks, its time for love to be thrown around like its nobody's business. And I'm not saying I haven't and won't continue to do this, because I will. We all will. Its now just a matter of realizing when you mean love, or really are in true, everlasting love. Thank you for your time.

10 Men I Would Go Gay For

Now, to clarify, I am a straight man. I am in no way gay, and I have nothing against them. Now, I am so comfortable with my sexuality, that I am able to evaluate how immensely sexy a man really is. Now here's the list, going from 10 to 1, No pics, but I will provide links. Now, bear in mind that I am straight, as that will get harder and harder to believe as you go down the list.

10)Robert Downey Jr.
-He is classy, clean, messy, awesome, and sexy. Contradictorily Hot.
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Downey,_Jr.
9) Jason Sudeikis
-Everybody loves a funny guy and it doesn't hurt that he has a gorgeous smile.
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Sudeikis
8)Joseph Gordon-Levitt
-Fucking Gorgeous features and awesome smile
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Gordon-Levitt
7)David Tennant
-Oh my god, he's drop dead sexy and he is the Doctor
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Tennant
6)Paul Rudd
-That smile. He is just too hot.
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Rudd
5)James Franco
-Too Funny with a fucking epic smile
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Franco
4)Bradley Cooper
-Oh. My. God. THOSE EYES. He is too hot.
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bradley_Cooper

3)Neil Patrick Harris
-Fucking awesome and epic and hot
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Patrick_Harris

2)Ryan Reynolds
-Hot as all hell and some of the greatest hair ever.
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ryan_Reynolds
1)Brad Pitt
-He is a sexy man beast with the features of a Greek God. Hottest Ever.
-http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brad_Pitt

Now that that is over,
I can only hope Page will post a list
of girls she would lez out with in order to
de-gay this blog up a bit, lol.

Garret (formerly known as Matt) and Garret's cousin.

                                                                      

Fucking Vancouver

People all over the world are rioting to fight the deep seeded and long lasting oppression they have suffered at the hands of a corrupt government and Vancouver criminals are rioting following the loss to the Bruins in the Stanley Cup. And before anyone misconstrues that, I do realize that it's not all Canucks fans, hell it may not even be HALF Canucks fans. But regardless, people are rioting in Vancouver for fucking nothing. People are getting STABBED! Cars are being set on FIRE! None of this has any reason.
I would like to applaud everyone who helped out on the clean up effort that took place, showing that not everyone is a brain dead fucktard who jumps at the first chance to break shit and stab people. And another round of applause to the sane people in the group who actually tried to stop the riots as they occurred. All the footage of their badassery can be found... well... EVERYWHERE.
Seriously though, all the people who took part in the riots deserve jail time. Police are even urging people to send in all video and photo taken at the riots in order to identify the rioters. Lastly, Fuck the idiots that rioted. and double fuck the rioters that actually stabbed a few Bruins fans.
Thank you for your time.

The time I made a Zoosk account

                                                                               

Cupcakes.. Defeating terrorism

So how many People know what Inspire magazine is? Basically a magazine that was printed in english to "Inspire" people to join the Jihad. So they had all these articles from Osama, there even was an article "How to make a bomb in the kitchen of your mom". 
Well... MI6 was like fuuuuuuuuuuuck that. And instead of Shutting down the site etc. They hacked it, deleted the Osama articles and replaced the bomb instructions with a cupcake recipe. Its known as 
Operation: Cupcake, MI6's way of fucking with al Qaeda


Comic coming soon 

News: politics plus crap thats prolly not that important the first

Rick Perry plans to host a Prayer and fast for America's governors. Of course it will be non-denominational Christian, because God forbid we host anything in the name of any other god. Come on we have Jewish Politicians, what happens to them??
     "Ok let us pray, Heavenly Father Hallow be thy name... Oh! I forgot, jews this can be like an Intermission for you. Um we have juice over there, don't worry we funded it we know how frugal ya'll can be, ah ha ha.. over there.. go now, pfft! You crazy jews it was a joke, you guys have big noses. I tease I tease!! Now go over there."
But yes they are hoping for their prayers to rise up and reach heaven to save America. From you know AIDS, and superAIDS and GonorehAIDS.
(fyi Rick Perry is a presidential candidate)

5 Reasons Bruce Campbell is better than Chuck Norris

1) Bruce Campbell fights zombies, spies, Napoleon, and futuristic cowboys. Chuck Norris on the other hand, fights commies and hillbillies.

2)Bruce Campbell has been in at least three shows where he plays the lead, always being a bad-ass, pussy getting ass kicker. Chuck Norris has been in one show where he plays a wannabe tough guy.

3) No matter how bad the odds, Bruce always wins. Chuck Norris has been badly beaten a few times, most notably by the late, great Bruce Lee (Can we just agree that Bruces are awesome)

4)Bruce Campbell has a chin sculpted by the gods. Chuck Norris has a weak chin (no 'Chuck Norris doesn't have chin, he has a fist' jokes will be tolerated)

5)Bruce Campbell is a man of the people. He blogs, tours, and writes books. Chuck Norris sits at home watching Jack of All Trades, wishing that Walker, Texas Ranger was half as bad ass.

Come one, Come all!

Welcome to the magical world of Zombie vs. Cat. The best thing to happen to the internet since Al Gore created it. This blog, conceptualized by my dar friend Page Davis, will become your favorite place one earth, like disneyland without all the lines. We shall try to constantly update this blog and make you laugh, cry, RAGE, then laugh some more. Comics, satire, and epicness await you. Enjoy.

Covered in white stuff

Paige Davis here, laying in bed covered in white. Now before the "thats what she said" it's baking soda. Mother Fucking baking soda.

 Sister plus her friend thought it would be funny to pile it on the blades of my ceiling fan. Thus sitting here covered in a corse powder, 

little did she know I have the power to summon Bruce Campbell. As he pulls out his portable Rebecca Black, I shove bee's wax in my ears as i watch them get nazi melty faces. Heh heh


                        Comic coming soon